Dear Gabriel,
We just celebrated your birthday. You are officially 1 year
old. How on earth did this happen?!
Your dad and I have watched you grow so much over the past
year. We have loved every smile and every laugh. We’ve listened to every coo,
cry, and babble. We’ve encouraged you to wiggle, roll over, crawl, and now
stand up and cruise along the furniture.
I remember standing over your tiny body and craving the day
when you would reach for me to pick you up. And after that, I anxiously awaited
the time that you would throw your arms around my neck to hug me and hold me.
Now that I have those moments to treasure, I look forward to hearing you call
me mama, to you telling me you love me, and to you running from across the room
to jump into my arms. I won’t wish your life away, but know that I look forward
to every milestone, big and small.
You are an observant little boy. You watch everything, soak
it in, and dissect it. Then you apply what you’ve just learned and practice it
until it’s right. You will be the child who takes apart the DVR or the
microwave just to understand how it works. You’re not really interested in
walking yet, but I’m convinced it’s because you won’t try it until you know
you’ll be successful. That’s pretty much how you started rolling and crawling.
You are smart and curious. You put small things inside
bigger things, you understand how to open and shut drawers and doors, and you try
to put your socks and shoes on your feet. You play peek-a-boo with blankets and
with your hands. You like us to take turns putting on sunglasses or hats. You
laugh when dada throws a ball up in the air. If you want to give me something,
you grab my hand, turn it palm up, open my fingers out, and put the thing in my
hand.
You are opinionated. You know what you want, what you don’t
want, and when you do or do not want it. You learned early on how to push
something away from you when you didn’t care for it. And you completely
understand and exercise the connection between crying and getting someone to
pay attention to you. (Your dad says I give in too much…)
You are a blessing in so many, many ways. But a big one for
this mama is that you let me sleep every night. I give you your last bottle and
rock you and sing to you, and then it’s into bed. You sit up for a bit and
listen to your glowworm play a song, and then you go to sleep for 10-11 hours.
I do not miss the days of listening to you cry when we put you in your crib for
bedtime. It is glorious to kiss your sweet head, tell you goodnight, and leave
the room without any fussing. But I do miss the extra long cuddles we used to
have in the rocking chair. These days you are more comfortable in your crib
than on my chest. So for those few moments when you lay your head on my
shoulder, close your eyes, and get your body settled for the night, I drink in
your smell and your existence. I think that’s what fuels me for another day.
There are so many signs that you are growing up…that you are
not the tiny newborn baby we brought home from the hospital. That you are
growing to be strong and smart and healthy. That’s what I want for you. You
make me happy and proud. Your smile brightens my world.
You are beautiful.
You are my baby.
I love you,
mama
