6 Year Letter

Dear Gabriel,

Just a couple of days ago, you turned 6 years old. SIX! You are so clearly a kid now…not a toddler, not a preschooler, but a real kid who has so many ideas and so much personality. Watching how much you’ve grown over the last year has been amazing for daddy and me.

I suppose I should actually write about the last two years since I somehow skipped writing your birthday letter last year. So, let’s see…there are definitely some themes that we can trace back to your earliest days.

You’ve developed your headstrong attitude further so that there are times when you are absolutely certain that you are right and that your idea of how things should go is indeed the only way they can go. The world seems to melt for you sometimes.

You’ve always had a tendency toward strong emotions when things aren’t going your way, but I finally recognized some of these melting moments as a need for food. You get hangry!! When you’ve completely lost all ability to reason, it’s almost always hunger or tiredness. Usually. Other times it’s just your need to have things work a certain way.

It seems like you’re always thinking about how things ought to work. You’ve always been very analytical and observant. You tend toward a lot of activities that involve problem-solving and spatial reasoning, like puzzles and LEGO kits. You love games, and we’ve played hours and hours of UNO over the past year. You like video games that involve critical thinking, too. There is a game called Flow where you have to connect several pairs of colored dots without crossing any of the paths. I was impressed with how easily you became really good at that one. You also like games that involve coding skills. It will be interesting to see whether this inclination leads to course and career choices later.

Academically, we’ve seen your reading skills suddenly take off this year. Before you turned 5, you could identify all the letters of the alphabet and the sounds they make. But we realized sometime in early 2016 that you needed glasses to correct for astigmatism and far-sightedness. After you got your glasses, we saw a difference in your ability to concentrate and make progress with reading. By the time you left preschool, you were reading the beginning BOB books pretty well.

When you began Kindergarten last fall, you entered the Dual Language program. At your school, they use a 90%-10% program which means that 90% of the instruction you receive in the core subjects is in Spanish. Dad and I were excited for you to have this opportunity to learn a second language, but we wondered what the focus on Spanish would do to your progress in reading English. We also wondered whether you would be frustrated by not being able to understand a lot of what your teacher was saying. But you have done SO well this year. We and your teachers are impressed with how much Spanish you are speaking and how well you are reading in both Spanish and English. We are so excited to see how you continue this in first grade next year.

You’re also developing great math skills. You can count way past 100…probably multiple hundreds if you wanted to. You’re reading 4- and 5-digit numbers, and you can figure out addition and subtraction situations involving 2-digit numbers in your head. Recently, you were figuring out proportional reasoning problems also. I don’t think you’re using standard algorithms yet, but I’m more excited about the critical-thinking and problem-solving skills you’re learning.

There are a few things we’re still working on…We try to get out and let you practice riding your bike, but it hasn’t happened as much as I would like. Living on a hill makes it a little hard to just pop right out the door for that. But you’re getting better and better with the training wheels on, and we’ll get to take them off one day. By the end of last summer, you were a lot more comfortable in the pool. You would come out into the middle of the pool with me just holding your hands, and we worked a bit on floating and using arms and legs to stroke and kick. Hopefully time in the pool this summer will get you closer to actual swimming.

You have been getting used to having water on more of your head by floating on your back in the bathtub, and you’ve become much less angry about water in your face during baths. But you still don’t really like it, and even splash days at daycare/camp are not your most favorite thing.

You may have gotten more comfortable with water being up around your head and ears because your second PE tube finally worked its way out. The first one fell out a long time ago, and I was wondering if your doctor would see it at this year’s well-check, but then we found it sitting in your ear a little while back. I am surprised it stayed in that long!

You lost your first tooth last summer, followed a couple months later by a second one. For the first one, we tied one end of some dental floss around your VERY loose tooth and the other end around a Nerf dart. You shot the Nerf gun and sent your tooth flying out of your mouth. I think it was fun for you and took some of the fear out of the situation. For the second one, we used dental floss again, but I just yanked it out. And now, nearly a year later, you’ve got two grown-up teeth almost completely moved in to take the place of those baby teeth.

There are so many signs that you are growing up, but there are other signs that you’re still small. You still love your monkey. He stays in your room 99% of the time now, but you look for him at bedtime. You fall asleep every night with your right index finger in your mouth and your left index finger rubbing monkey’s nose or eye. You also show up in our bed more frequently than daddy and I would like. You squirm and sidle up to us. I end up with your knees in my back and hands in my face. When you sleep in our bed, it’s not good sleep for anyone but you, but there is a part of me that secretly loves it. You are already so independent, and you’ve already cut down on the number of hugs and snuggles I get during the day…eventually you won’t want to curl up with me in the middle of the night, and I will both celebrate and grieve when that time comes.  

You’re in a phase where you prefer daddy anyway. Daddy gets all the hugs, and you’ve created your own routines together that I’m not really part of. It’s really fun to see your relationship deepen, but I wish it was easier for me to get a hug or a kiss these days.

Daddy and I look at each other all the time and say things like, “Remember when he could run under the table without coming close to hitting his head?” or “Remember when he used to say duppa-duppa-day and tummy-tum-town?” or “Remember when we were a little bit worried because he wasn’t talking yet?” Now you talk practically nonstop. Sometimes you’re explaining to us how the world works and arguing your position. Other times you’re singing little songs you make up to narrate what you’re doing. I don’t even think you realize you’re doing it, but it’s fun to hear what’s going on in your head. And sometimes you narrate in Spanish!

We can't wait to see what the next year brings. We're so excited to see all the things you do and all the things you learn. You're our favorite kid, little man.

Love,

Mommy (or Mama or Mom, depending on the day)

4 Year Letter

Dear Gabriel,

We've arrived at the day that marks 4 years since you slowly (so, so slowly) made your way into this world. Four years old seems so big when I think back to you as a little baby and then as a toddler. You've grown up so much in the past year, and we have loved watching it happen.

You are often so, so silly. We have lots of fun making each other laugh. When you're playing, we see how you've imagined a landscape we can't even see. We hear the voices you've given the other characters in your world, whether they be your stuffed animals or people/things only in your imagination. You make sound effects to help us see how your ideas are playing out in your mind.

You've learned a lot this year. You are counting way past 20 now (though still leave out 13 most of the time), and we've been working on comparing the size of numbers and on simple addition. It's awesome to see you get it. You've also been learning about letter sounds, so we've been playing some spelling games. You recently proved that you can spell your first and last names! You finally decided to take an interest in writing. I don't know why it took so long, but you've always been one to do things on your own timeline.

You still have that stubborn streak. That's a theme we've noted since pretty much day 1, and I very much doubt that it will be going away. You crave control, so I try to make sure you get to make as many decisions for yourself that are safe and reasonable to do. Even so, there are moments when you just lose yourself. You can melt down over seemingly small things, and we're still learning how to help you deal with those big feelings. You've always been a 0 to 60 kind of kid about your emotions, and by the time we think we can help you deal with it all, you go from 60 back to 0!

You still turn to your monkey for comfort. And that index finger. We've been preparing you for the past couple of months that when you turn four, we would start reminding you not to suck your finger during the day. I figure there's not much I can do about you sucking on your finger when you're asleep, but we'll keep helping you stop it in the waking hours. You are excited about being four, so hopefully this hurdle will be easy enough to get over.

It's been a good year, three years old. We made it to the other side of some tantrums, some assertion of independence, and some small rebellions. You get many, many, many reminders about following instructions and listening to parents and teachers, but you're much more cooperative on those fronts compared with three or four months ago.

It's amazing that we could already be at four years old, and I know five will be here before I even realize it. I think I better try to absorb as much of this last year of preschool as I can.

I love you more than anything,
Mom (somehow I became Mom this year...sigh)


Let's see what has happened since your last birthday...

Over the summer, we went to the pool quite a bit with our friends and neighbors. You were not so keen on the getting in the water part at first. Finally you started splashing and having fun in the really shallow (2-3 inches) part. Then I coerced you into the main part of the pool. We got you a puddle jumper for floating, but I don't think you really trusted it, so you did not want me to let go. Or to float you away from my body while holding onto you. At all. By the end of the summer, though, you were hanging onto the edge of the pool and monkeying all the way around by yourself. I'm hoping you'll become even more comfortable and excited about swimming this year.

You also got to visit with your cousins Blake and Caleb last summer. Having three boys in the house was a new and loud experience! We were fortunate enough to have them visit again this summer, and I was really proud of how well you all played together. You started running a fever the morning they arrived, so I was worried that things were going to go downhill quickly, but you hung in there. I think you all had a lot of fun, and I'm glad you get to spend time with them, even if it's not very often.

July 2014

June 2015

At Halloween, you dressed as a fireman. You were so darn cute. When Grammaw had you try it on the first time, you posed like the boy on the costume package.  Adorable!

At the school carnival last year, you got to hold and play a small guitar. You loved it! You had seen Grandpa play his before and had helped him play it, but you started asking for one of your own. So, 
at Christmas, Grandpa gave you a guitar of your own. Hopefully he can give you some lessons as you get older.

You've been doing so well at school. Your two closest friends are Charlie and Conrad. Unfortunately, Charlie moved away last year, and Conrad will be moving at the end of this month. We're sad to see your buddies move away, but we know you'll make other friends.

Conrad, Charlie, and Gabriel

I think the Montessori approach has been really good for you because you get a measure of control that I know you want/need. Your teachers are great, and they've worked with us to help you grow socially and academically this year.

We, of course, did our annual bluebonnet pictures with Aunt Jordan, William, Aunt Joanah, and Grammaw. We are so lucky to find such good friends right in our family. I always love the photographs that come out of these sessions because the series captures you so well. You can be so goofy sometimes, and I love capturing that silliness.

Here's hoping this coming year is awesome!

3 1/2 Year Letter

Dear Gabriel,

Oh my son. You are smack in the middle of 3 years old and every day is a testament to it. You are hilarious and interesting and frustrating. Three. Years. Old.

You really are so fun to be with sometimes. You are smart and clever, and you say some of the funniest things. You make some of the funniest facial expressions that a person just does not expect from a preschooler. Lately, when you don't want to get ready to go to school, you tell me your back doesn't feel good. You picked that up from me this summer when I was doing physical therapy for my back. Way to adapt it to your own needs!

You love to play. You love to figure things out. You've always been a thinker. We still see you analyze and dissect the world as you figure out how to interact with it.

You're pretty convinced that you can do just about anything you want. Reach something that's 6 feet in the air when the tallest stool you have is only about 14 inches off the ground? Sure...just stand on your tippy-toes. Wait...that didn't work? Let me try stacking this other stool on top! Good thing we're still around to catch you when you're about to fall.

You've learned to use the Keurig so you can make "coffee" in the morning. You've learned to get into the refrigerator doors to get snacks. You've learned to buckle yourself in your carseat! That one is actually really good for mama. Makes getting in the car and getting going so much easier.

Though lately you make sure that I don't buckle myself until you're done...everything lately is about you being the winner or the leader. Sometimes it's annoying. Sometimes we use it to our advantage. When it's bedtime, we just threaten that mom or dad is going to be the first one up the stairs and you're sure to move quickly to your bedroom.

When you get there, you climb onto your bed, throw the blanket over you and tell me to find you. We need to work a little on the idea of hiding. You've not quite put it together that just because something is obscuring our view of you is not quite the same as "hiding" in a way that would make it hard to "find" you. We'll keep working on that.

We'll have to keep working on using your listening ears, too. You're at a stage when you would much rather do what you want to do at any given moment. You get a lot of reminders that you have an instruction and you need to listen and follow directions. It's a whole other level of parenting challenge now.

But I wouldn't trade it for anything. All those tough moments make the sweet moments sweeter.

My sweet, sweet boy, you are loved beyond measure. Love, mama

3 Year Letter

Dear Gabriel,

My sweet little baby, how on earth did you get to be a small boy? You're so big now. You can do so much for yourself...most of getting dressed (still need help with socks), most of getting undressed (it's hard to take a shirt off), toileting, eating, you can even buckle yourself into your car seat now. So big.

Your imagination has bloomed so much in the past few months. You interact with your toys as though they have personalities. Sometimes they are sad because you've been away from them. Sometimes they are angry because another toy/friend has done something. It's really cool to see you processing your world through play.

You sing your ABCs--well, a few parts are a little mushy--but you've pretty much got it. You can do Bah, Bah, Black Sheep and parts of other songs, too. So cute. You count to 11...and then it's 14, 18, 19, 18, 19. :) You recently moved up to the big kids' classroom at preschool; you've graduated from Doodlebug to Firefly! I can't wait to see what else you learn.

Every morning you put on your two flower bracelets, your American flag sunglasses, and your Superman ball cap as essential parts of your ensemble. Recently you picked out blue nail polish at the store and had me paint your fingernails. You just mentioned tonight that it's time to repaint. Your personality is definitely developing. And it's as strong as ever.

We've made friends with kids next door, so we get to spend lots of time out playing in the cul de sac. That has been one of the best things about moving to this neighborhood. You like to ride on the firetruck ride-on toy and Ruby's tricycle. You're starting to try out your balance bike. We spend a lot of time kicking and throwing and chasing balls.

You're getting so grown up, and yet you still want mommy when you're upset. You keep your little monkey with you for comfort, and you still suck on that index finger. Someday you'll grow out of those comforts, but I sure hope you hang on to me for as long as possible.

Two and a half to three has been a lot of fun, sweet boy. I can't wait to see what the next year brings.

I love you so much,
Mommy

2 1/2 Year Letter

Dear Gabriel,
You are talking up a storm these days. It seems like you never stop. You point out things you see while we're driving in the car, you summarize things that you just did, and you tell us what you want us to do. You ask for help, but we're still working on getting you to verbalize what you want help with. You will tell me you want to go to the kitchen, but you won't tell me what you want from the kitchen.

We're also working on verbalizing your feelings when you get really upset. You are so quick to total frustration. I think your feelings overwhelm you and the part that could tell us what is wrong shuts down. We've had trouble working on this because you can flip the switch back to happy in a heartbeat, too. There isn't much time to help you work through the frustration and figure out how to express what is going on. But we'll keep working on it.

Lately you've been building lots of block towers and castles and playing with the train set. Sometimes you pull out the boxes of blocks and then make us wait because they're not ready yet. Then you path your hand and look around a bit before you suddenly declare that they are ready. I don't know if you're mimicking behavior of someone else or if you have just found another way to gain control. You love to have control. You also love to do puzzles. You are rocking the 9-piece puzzles and like to do larger puzzles together. At Christmas, you got a small xylophone for bathtub play and you love to bang on that thing while I sing Jingle Bells.

You've started singing along with many of the songs I sing to you. It's funny to hear how you process the song and sing the "words." Your favorites seem to be the ABCs and Bah Bah Black Sheep. At bedtime, you ask me to sing these two songs in different voices. Sometimes you want me to stick my tongue out while I sing so that all the sounds are funny. Sometimes you want me to do each syllable in a staccato fashion. One time you wanted me to kind of croak(?) the words out, and other times you tell me we have to whisper.

I see your imagination starting to develop. You have conversations with monkey and sometimes monkey and sheep have conversations. Lately you'll say hi to something (monkey, sheep, mommy, my shoulder) and then say "How are you today?" It's pretty adorable.

You are still as independent and strong-willed as you have ever been, but you are sweet and happy and pretty easy to work with. You really are a lot of fun at this age. It's amazing to watch as you continue to develop your personality.

Love,
Mama

Two Year Letter

Dear Gabriel,

Last week we celebrated your second birthday. Somehow you are already 2 years old! Time has flown, it seems.

In April you started going to Sunrise Montessori. This has been a great change for you. You really enjoy your time at school where you wok on social skills and all kinds of cognitive and physical development. You love to do things for yourself, like serve yourself food.

Sunrise has been a great opportunity for you to experience a more structured day that still allows you to have some control over what you focus on. You even got to watch butterflies hatch.

You’re also learning about using the potty. You’ve used the potty successfully several times now, but you’re not consistent about it. We’re not pushing it yet, but the fact that you are interested in the process is good.

You had your first school pictures taken this spring. It almost seemed silly to get school pictures when you weren’t even 2 years old yet, but man are they cute. You look so darn grown up.

Lately you’ve been dancing and singing for us. You love to groove to a good beat, and you often grab something to use as a microphone (or use your hand) and shout “Duppa duppa day!” It’s so cute that Daddy bought you a microphone for your birthday. Now you can perform for us all the time!

Your language and vocabulary development has really taken off in the past couple of months. You talk a lot and can mostly tell us what you want with words now. You’ve been putting 2 or 3 word phrases together for a little while, like “socks and shoes” or “help please, mama.” This morning you came into the bedroom and said “I’m drinking milk.” Sentences!! Your daddy has more trouble understanding you than I do, but you’re getting clearer every day.

Just this past week you’ve started doing some two-foot jumps. And you’re still a dare-devil about climbing and jumping on things. There is very little fear in your heart, little man. You’re still fairly clumsy, though. It seems you always have a bruise or scratch somewhere from running or falling.

You’re still a good helper. You are great at putting your dishes in the sink after a meal, at throwing trash away, at putting dirty clothes in the laundry hamper, and helping load or unload the dishwasher and clothes washer and dryer. Sometimes you help sweep or vacuum around the house, too. Your teacher at school says you are a good helper there, too.

You pay a lot of attention to what is going on so you can try to understand how it all works. You love to play with trains, you love to do puzzles, and you love to read books. You like to build towers with blocks and to throw balls. And! You learned to open all the doors in our house, so nothing is off-limits anymore. Plus, you go into a room and close the door behind you, just because you can.

You’re growing up, my little boy. Keep at it. I love to watch you learn.

Love,

mama

Eighteen Month Letter

Dear Gabriel,

You are 18 months old! The past three months have been a time of great development for you. You are asserting your personality and teaching us who you are. You crave independence and control. You know exactly what you want and when you want it, and when things don’t go exactly as you like, you are quick to total frustration. We’re working on communicating your needs without shooting straight to the full-blown fit. You can point to what you want and shake your head no when the item offered isn’t what you want. You still wave your arms across your body to mean no, also.

Though there does seem to be a lot of whining lately, you are also a playful little boy who loves to laugh. You laugh so hard sometimes that you get hiccups. Still. You’ve been doing this since you were a baby. The way your face lights up makes me so happy. To see that joy in your face makes me feel like bringing you into the world was so absolutely right.

You are mama’s little helper by taking things to the trashcan or the sink. In the morning, you usually go to both sides of mama and daddy’s bed, get the cups we have in there, and take them to the sink for me. You also help us unload the dishwasher, though it does end up taking longer with your help.

Though language development has been a bit of a concern for me, you have recently picked up several new words. I may be the only one who understands you, but you are definitely using words to communicate. You say up, help, juice, cheese, yes, mama, dada, papa (food), car, hat, eyes, hi, quack, and make a monkey sound. One time I swear you repeated goldfish when I asked if you wanted the crackers. You say mama and dada, but you haven’t completely assigned one name to each of us. Dada seems to mean daddy most of the time, but sometimes means me. And mama seems to mostly mean that you want something. We’ll keep working on that.

You feed yourself very well with your fingers, but using a spoon or fork is a pretty messy and inefficient way to get food into your mouth. Sometimes you stuff WAY too much in your mouth, which leads to gagging and spitting it all out. For a while, if we asked you what was in your mouth, you would open your mouth and push it out. I’ve caught lots of chewed up junk in my hand. But that’s ok, it’s one of my jobs.

You are growing and growing. You’re running around and chasing the cat or your daddy. You have been practicing jumping, but your feet don’t leave the ground. It is incredibly adorably the way you crouch and swing your arms and then look so proud of what you just accomplished. I’m sure you’ll take flight soon. You have no sense of danger at this point. You love to climb on anything that sits still long enough. All of this activity means you get tons of bruises. I keep noticing how my little baby is slipping away as you become a kid.

Of course, you still hate having your hair washed at bath time. You throw a screaming fit about water being poured over your head. You basically hate getting your head and face wet at all. After bath time, we put on pajamas, and you suddenly turn back into my baby. After we read books, you curl up on my shoulder while we sing a couple songs. I love how you snuggle up and throw your arms around my neck. Holding you there against me fills up the hole that I often feel inside me.

Watching you explore and learn new things everyday is so completely amazing. Watching how you problem solve makes me so proud. Watching you grow up is both happy and a little bit sad. But no matter what, you are the best thing I ever did.

I love you,

mama

Fifteen Month Letter

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Dear Gabriel,

You turned 15 months old yesterday. You are well over a year old now.

Watching you develop is an amazing experience. Right now I am sitting at the kitchen table watching you drink some milk, eat some fruit and peanut butter crackers, and try to feed yourself macaroni and cheese. Those noodles are slippery.

You are the type of kid who knows what he wants and when he wants it. Sometimes you tell me you want food while you’re eating food. And I am to understand that you mean the options before you are no longer acceptable. So we try to find something else, which you also refuse, before you return to the first thing and eat it happily. I’m not always sure of the point of those little treasure hunts. Probably just telling me that you’re in charge.

You’re walking like a semi-pro now. You still stumble occasionally, but you are right back on your feet. Crawling is no longer your mode of choice. You’re gaining other motor skills, too. You’re great at taking things out of containers and putting them back in. You’re starting to stack things and then knock them over. And you love to ride your little car and push your little cart. You are basically all over the place these days. Nothing is safe.

You’re not talking yet. You use a few signs pretty routinely: You can ask to be picked up, you can tell me you’re hungry, you can tell me no/stop it/I don’t want that, you can signal that you’re done eating and want to get down, and you sometimes use the sign for more. You point at things and can generally get your message across through some combination of gestures and sounds, but it will be really nice as we add more words or signs to your vocabulary.

You still love music. You don’t pay a whole lot of attention to the television when it’s on unless you hear a song. I often turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while we get ready in the morning, and you light up when they start the hotdog dance. Sometimes when you get fussy in the car, I turn on a kids’ music CD. That usually calms you down quickly. I suppose your love of music was inevitable, but it still makes me and your daddy happy.

We found out a couple of weeks ago that you break out in hives when given amoxicillin. And we were giving you amoxicillin because when you get mosquito bites, they get big blisters on them. And then they pop. And some of them get infected. So now your legs are covered in scabs.

But even scabby legs don’t change how wonderful you are. You are the main thing that keeps me going, baby boy. Your beautiful smile and joyous laughter are the fuel I function on. So keep smiling and laughing, my love.

I love you,

mama

One Year Letter

Dear Gabriel,

We just celebrated your birthday. You are officially 1 year old. How on earth did this happen?!

Your dad and I have watched you grow so much over the past year. We have loved every smile and every laugh. We’ve listened to every coo, cry, and babble. We’ve encouraged you to wiggle, roll over, crawl, and now stand up and cruise along the furniture.

I remember standing over your tiny body and craving the day when you would reach for me to pick you up. And after that, I anxiously awaited the time that you would throw your arms around my neck to hug me and hold me. Now that I have those moments to treasure, I look forward to hearing you call me mama, to you telling me you love me, and to you running from across the room to jump into my arms. I won’t wish your life away, but know that I look forward to every milestone, big and small.

You are an observant little boy. You watch everything, soak it in, and dissect it. Then you apply what you’ve just learned and practice it until it’s right. You will be the child who takes apart the DVR or the microwave just to understand how it works. You’re not really interested in walking yet, but I’m convinced it’s because you won’t try it until you know you’ll be successful. That’s pretty much how you started rolling and crawling.

You are smart and curious. You put small things inside bigger things, you understand how to open and shut drawers and doors, and you try to put your socks and shoes on your feet. You play peek-a-boo with blankets and with your hands. You like us to take turns putting on sunglasses or hats. You laugh when dada throws a ball up in the air. If you want to give me something, you grab my hand, turn it palm up, open my fingers out, and put the thing in my hand.

You are opinionated. You know what you want, what you don’t want, and when you do or do not want it. You learned early on how to push something away from you when you didn’t care for it. And you completely understand and exercise the connection between crying and getting someone to pay attention to you. (Your dad says I give in too much…)

You are a blessing in so many, many ways. But a big one for this mama is that you let me sleep every night. I give you your last bottle and rock you and sing to you, and then it’s into bed. You sit up for a bit and listen to your glowworm play a song, and then you go to sleep for 10-11 hours. I do not miss the days of listening to you cry when we put you in your crib for bedtime. It is glorious to kiss your sweet head, tell you goodnight, and leave the room without any fussing. But I do miss the extra long cuddles we used to have in the rocking chair. These days you are more comfortable in your crib than on my chest. So for those few moments when you lay your head on my shoulder, close your eyes, and get your body settled for the night, I drink in your smell and your existence. I think that’s what fuels me for another day.

There are so many signs that you are growing up…that you are not the tiny newborn baby we brought home from the hospital. That you are growing to be strong and smart and healthy. That’s what I want for you. You make me happy and proud. Your smile brightens my world.

You are beautiful.

You are my baby.

I love you,

mama

Eleven Month Letter

Dear Gabriel,

You are now 11 months old. This means that your 1 year birthday is constantly on my mind. I’m thinking about the details of planning a birthday party for you, but it’s not just to follow the ritual…It’s because I am so excited to celebrate your first year of life!

You have changed SO much, even just in the past month. I had been trying to get you to clap your hands for a long time. You would often pick up two toys and bang them together, but you wouldn’t do it with your hands. Then one day last week, you started doing it! Now you clap all the time!

You also started playing peekaboo. I noticed one day in the car that you were playing with a shirt that Elizabeth sent home from daycare. You kept putting it on your head and laughing. I couldn’t figure out why you thought a shirt was so funny. Then when we got home, you started doing it with a blanket, and I could tell that you were hiding your face and then uncovering it. We, of course, make a big deal about this and clap and praise you for how clever you are.

I noticed this week that you have two more teeth through the gum. They are on either side of the two middle top teeth. It’s kind of crazy for me to think of you with a full set of teeth! Your little grin with two on top and two on bottom is so adorable. You’re really learning to use your teeth, too. You bite Cheerios in half and take bites of crackers. Last night you bit the spoon I was feeding you with and wouldn’t give it back. You tried out your bite while nursing the other night, too…which was NOT COOL.

Your adjustment to formula during the day went very smoothly. And you’re getting pretty good at holding your bottle or your sippy cup by yourself. This month Elizabeth is starting to transition you to whole milk so that you can be done with formula when you’re a year old. I don’t have a real plan as far as how long to continue our morning and bedtime nursing…I think we’ll just play it by ear. It still works for both of us right now, so we’ll keep on.

You’ve been trying lots of new foods. You love French fries and sweet potato fries. You eat cooked baby carrots, banana, strawberries, peaches, and graham crackers. You like the small bites of cake or brownie that I give you. And you learned to drink from a straw because you apparently like root beer, sprite, and cherry limeades.

Your ear tube surgery is proving to be the good decision I thought it would be. You had a cold this past month that surely would have become an ear infection without putting the tubes in. It’s encouraging that you’ve been able to go over a month without any antibiotics. We have had to coat most of your body in Lamisil for the past couple of weeks, though. You picked up ringworm somewhere, and instead of having one spot, you had spots on both legs, your back, sides, and tummy. I’m just thankful that it didn’t get on your face or scalp.

While inspecting your skin for ringworm spots, I noticed that a small little freckle has appeared right in the crease of your right leg where it meets your body. I keep watching for more little freckles to pop up since both your dad and I have quite a few. Who knows where the next one will be?!

This past Sunday was my first Mother’s Day. We spent the day with Grammaw, aunt Jordan, and cousin Will. It was a wonderful, happy day, and it makes me feel blessed to have brought you into this family. I feel blessed that you are here in my life. You make this a beautiful life.

Thank you for making me a mommy,

mama

Ten Month Letter

Dear Gabriel,

You are now 10 months old. Time is flying by more quickly than I ever thought it could.

Since figuring out how to crawl last month, you are now pulling up to standing while holding on to furniture. Today I even saw you take a couple of little steps as you cruised along the couch. You’ll be running all over the place before I know it!

A couple of weeks ago we bit the surgery bullet and had tubes put in your ears. You were on antibiotics for the sixth time in six months, so we decided it was time to do something more aggressive about it. I had a little bit of anxiety about sending you away behind closed doors for a surgical procedure that required anesthesia, but when it came time for the procedure, I was really at peace about it. I know it was the right thing to do for you. The only bad thing about the whole thing was the half hour after the surgery when you were coming out of anesthesia. You really were not a fan of that feeling at all.

Since the surgery, it seems that you are sleeping better at night. Which means your days are a bit better as well. You are playing independently more and are less clingy and fussy overall. I should knock on wood now, because I know as soon as I say these things aloud, something will cause a set back.

We’ve been working on eating more table foods…you still have some texture issues, but you’re really happy when you can feed yourself. You’ve been eating a LOT of Cheerios lately because you love being able to pick them up and put them in your mouth. We also realized that you like French fries, so we’ve let you eat some roasted potato pieces. We’re going to try sweet potato fries and cooked carrots soon.

We started supplementing some of your liquid nutrition with formula this week. I gave myself permission to stop working so hard to pump enough milk for you to have breast milk all day at daycare. The pumping routine takes a lot of dedication, and I found that I was having trouble staying committed to it. The plan is to keep nursing in the morning and at bedtime, but to have formula bottles during the day. I think making it to 10 months without any formula is an amazing accomplishment for the two of us considering that I was worried that you wouldn’t ever nurse properly before the tongue tie was fixed. I am so glad that I stuck with it and provided you with breast milk for almost a year!

You haven’t really picked up any new syllables, but you’ve been playing with spitting sounds lately. And you do this funny thing where you suck your lips in around your gums and then exhale strongly a few times through your nose. Oh and you do this other funny thing with your mouth where you kind of suck your lips around your gums while you babble. It kind of makes it look like you have a beak or something.

You’re just growing so fast. It seems like it’s all happening so fast! At night while I rock you before bedtime, I just stare at your sweet face and try to hold these moments in my heart. I breathe you in and let your existence fill my heart and my soul. It could have been a terrible day in every other respect, but holding your sleeping little body in my arms can heal all of the day’s damage.

You’re like magic.

Love,

mama

Nine Month Letter

Dear Gabriel,

You are 9. Months. Old. !!!!

I truly thought you were trying to make your mama into a big liar this month. I kept saying you were going to be crawling any day now…any day now…any day now…and you kept getting up on your hands and knees, and rocking back and forth, and reaching for something in front of you, and then sitting back up. Last Friday your dad and I were watching you do this over and over again when I turned to him and said, “I know it will open up a whole new set of problems, but I want him [Gabriel] to crawl SO BAD.” And then within half an hour, you did it.

You finally figured out how to put your little gears into forward…and now you are getting into everything imaginable. Seriously. It’s a whole new world for you now, and you want to put your hands (and your mouth) on all of it.

You’re also working on ‘g’ and ‘k’ sounds when you babble. You’ve had ‘m’ and ‘d’ and ‘n’ and ‘b’ for a little while. You repeat ma-ma-ma, da-da-da, na-na-na, and ba-ba-ba all the time. None of your sounds seem to have meaning yet, but we’re trying to get you to associate mama and dada with your parents.

These developmental milestones are accompanied, unfortunately, by yet another ear infection. You were given your fifth round of antibiotics last week, and when those weren’t cutting it, you got antibiotic shots in your little thighs. We’re calling the ENT on Monday to make an appointment to talk about PE tubes. I hate that you keep getting sick!

I started trying to introduce a few finger foods to you, but you aren’t very keen on the textures right now. I tried some beans, a banana, some peaches, and some pears. You make an ugly face and spit it right back out. I found out today that you like wheat bread a lot, though. So…we’ll start from there.

No new teeth...still just the bottom two. Your hair grows fast, though. You’ve had three haircuts in your short nine months. The most recent one was at a children’s hair cut place. A professional cut! I really should learn to do it myself since after only a week and a half your hair is already starting to grow over your ears. Good grief.

We’ll get official height and weight measurements at your well check this coming week, but I know you’re at least 21 pounds now. You’re wearing 12-month clothes very well and will probably outgrow them sooner than I want you to.

You’re my amazing little boy.

I love you,

mama

Eight Month Letter

Dear Gabriel,

You are now 8 months old!!!! How the time has flown!

You are such a big boy now. You’re sitting up by yourself with no problem. You can reach pretty far to get a toy and then sit yourself back upright. Sometimes you lean over far enough to flip yourself onto your tummy. Then you can get up on your hands and knees and rock a bit. It won’t be long ‘til your crawling! For now, you get on your tummy, raise up on your hands, and push yourself backward. You managed to scoot yourself from your play area in the living room all they way around the couch to the DVD shelves. Backward.

You’ve figured out that raising your hands up above your head indicates that you want to be picked up. So you do that frequently. But you’re getting better at playing by yourself. You are interested in all the toys that are available to you. You pick them up and bang them around and put them in your mouth. Everything goes in your mouth.

Part of the reason you chew on everything is that you’re getting teeth! You have two teeth on the bottom now. It’s so cute when you smile and show them to me. Though most of them time when I try to get a look, you stick your tongue out to cover them up.

You’re now able to pick up puff snacks and put them in your mouth. Sometimes they land on the floor, but you get most of them in your mouth by yourself. We’ve also started working on using a sippy cup. You seem to understand which part goes in your mouth, but you still haven’t figured out the importance of gravity in getting the liquid into your mouth.

We are unfortunately treating another ear infection. This is the fourth round of antibiotics you’ve been on for your ears. Your doctor is counting this as the second or third infection since they’ve been so close together lately that it’s considered an unresolved occurrence instead of a new occurrence. I would not be surprised if we’re eventually talking about PE tubes. But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

I don’t know if it’s related to your being sick, but you’ve slept 11 hours straight for the past few nights. I would love, love, love if that was your new normal. It makes for a much happier mama when she gets a good chunk of sleep. Not to mention the fact that you are still not consistent about your daytime naps. You sometimes take a morning nap, but not very often. And you take an afternoon nap about half the time. I don’t know how a child your age is getting by without a consistent afternoon nap. And you are a serious Mr. Cranky when you don’t nap. I wish you would figure out that naps are a very good thing.

At least your night-time sleep is solid. When we put you in your bed, you immediately flip over onto your tummy and settle in. Sometimes you fuss for a minute or so. Sometimes you babble to yourself for a bit. But you are asleep quickly. I always go in and check on you before I go to bed. I stand over your crib and watch you sleeping. I place my hand on your back to feel your breathing. And I marvel at the miracle I’m so blessed to have.

I love you so much,

mama

Seven Month Letter

Dear Gabriel,

Today you are 7 months old! More than half a year!

This past month has included many firsts for you:

On Christmas Eve, Aunt Jordan helped us out by giving you your first haircut. We trimmed off the long baby curls and this older little boy emerged. The transformation was so simple, yet fairly profound. And boy do you look like your dad without that mop on your head. Of course, it’s now 3 weeks later and your hair is all poofy again, so I suppose it’s time for another trim.

You celebrated your first Christmas…by sleeping through present-opening time. But that’s ok. You were cozy in Grammaw’s arms and with so many people around you, I think you’d gotten a bit over-stimulated. A nap was just the thing.  Next year, you’ll be able to rip into presents yourself, and we’ll get lots of cute pictures of you and your cousins running around.

You spent your first nights away from our house when we slept at Grammaw’s on two different occasions. The first was when dad went to Vegas, and the second was Christmas Eve. You did fairly well being in a different place. As you get older, we’ll probably end up staying at Grammaw’s more, so hopefully you’ll adjust to that smoothly. Hopefully you’ll be able to do it smoothly this weekend when you spend your first night at Grammaw’s without mom or dad. Yikes! My first night away from my baby!!

You’ve been moved out of the infant carrier into your big boy car seat. Because of its size, you are no longer in the middle of the back seat. The first time you rode in the new car seat, you were mesmerized by the world going by outside your window. You still get that way sometimes. It’s pretty cute. You also had your first ride in a shopping cart as a big boy and you’ve used restaurant high chairs a couple of times. And all of this is because you are sitting up on your own now!! Almost overnight, you suddenly were able to hold yourself up. You still topple backward occasionally, so we throw some pillows behind you when we set you down. But watching you learn new things is so fun!

I would be painting a skewed picture if I didn’t also mention that you had your first tumble off of the couch…dad and I looked away for just a second, and you rolled right off. You don’t roll all that much, even on the ground, but you chose just that moment to try it out…and down you went. No damage!

Speaking of rolling, you’ve started rolling over onto your tummy in your crib. Then you wake up and get frustrated about it and I have to come turn you back over. You actually can roll from tummy to back, but I think you’re just confused in the middle of the night.

Your sleep schedule has been a little bit wonky lately…you got another ear infection a couple of weeks ago, so you weren’t sleeping well. And since you weren’t eating well during the day, you needed to eat overnight. Now we have to break that habit again. But I also find that, as much as I really want to sleep in my bed, I sometimes just want to pick you up and hold you. There is something comforting about holding you close while we sleep.

I’ll end this letter with a funny story. A couple of weeks ago, you started grabbing my face and pulling it close to you. Sometimes you pull my hair like reins, sometimes you grab my ear or jaw. During the day, you’ll usually give me open mouth kisses wherever your mouth lands when you pull me close. At night, you often suck on my chin. It doesn’t really bother me, and seems to calm you, so I let you do it. Last night, your dad told me that I had a red spot on my chin…then he said I actually had two of them. I couldn’t figure out what had caused them…they didn’t hurt or itch, they weren’t bumps or scratches…and then I realized…they are hickies. I have two little hickies on my chin from letting you calm yourself to sleep last night. At least they’re not on my neck.

I love you, little man. You’re my favorite.

Love, mama

Six Month Old Letter

Dear Gabriel,

Somehow, you are already 6 months old!! That is simply unbelievable!

This month has been full of changes for you. Right around Thanksgiving, you added consonant sounds to your repertoire. Now you babble all the time and make sounds that I know will be recognizable words in the near future. Something about hearing you make syllables has turned you into more of a little boy in my eyes, instead of a baby.

We also did some sleep training with you right after Thanksgiving. Your dad and I decided that it was time to get you into a good routine for bedtime and to try to get more sleep for ourselves. We decided on a bedtime routine so that we could help you learn your sleep cues. We start with a bottle (so that bedtime isn’t dependent on mommy to nurse you), take a bath, get on pajamas, read a book, turn out the light to sing a song or two, and then put you in your bed awake. We also decided (with back-up from your pediatrician) that you were old enough and weighed enough that you did not need to eat overnight.

We did a progressive waiting method of sleep-training that meant you did have to do some crying for a few nights. That first night was kind of difficult for all three of us (and probably the cats, too), but it was not nearly as bad as I had anticipated. Within 4 nights, you were consistently sleeping 8 straight hours a night. You’re eating enough during the day to get you through 8 or 9 hours of sleep, and you very rarely cry when we first put you down in your crib. I am so proud of you for doing this so quickly.

To continue talking about food…you must have hit a growth spurt in the last couple of weeks. Last month you graduated from 15 ounces at daycare to 18 ounces. Then in the last couple of weeks, you were drinking more and more. There were a few days in a row when you drank 30 ounces or more. I was not sure I could pump enough to keep up with your intake! I figured we needed to focus on spoon foods more so that you could start getting some of your calories from something other than breast milk. So, we made a stronger effort to get you eating oatmeal and fruits and vegetables in the evening and you finally took to it.

You had been introduced to pretty much all the single food baby foods, so I told Elizabeth to start feeding you solids at daycare. You eat really well for her! And you have decreased your milk intake to about 20 ounces per day while with her. This is a much easier goal for me to keep up with. I think I’ll keep pumping as much as I can so that maybe we can build up a store in the deep freeze in case my ability to make milk for you wanes sooner than I want it to.

Right now we really only nurse in the morning when you wake me around 5 am. I pull you into the recliner and we nurse, sleep, and cuddle for a while until it’s time to get up. I really like that I still get a little bit of cuddle time with you everyday. I’m glad I don’t have to sleep with you on me or right next to me for most of the night, but I would miss having a little special time with you each day.

Your personality is developing more and more each day. You are adjusting more and more to playing by yourself, or at least not needing us to hold you all the time. You play in the jumperoo or on the floor mat for a bit each day. I keep trying to put you on your stomach. You will often roll over onto your back. I still have not seen you roll from back to front. Silly boy. We’ve been trying to practice sitting up, but you still lack the control to hold yourself for longer than a second or two. You reach for things and bring them to your mouth pretty easily. Sometimes you help me bring the spoon to your mouth. You’re such a good helper.

I can often tell what you need by the type of fussing or crying you’re doing. You were fussing the other day and I could tell it was your tired cry. I can tell when you’re about to lose your grip and blow your lid, so I can either scoop you up or brace myself for the wailing. You actually don’t scream very much. You manipulate us by fussing just enough that we’ll pick you up. Then you immediately stop the crying and smile. You pretty much have us trained. We’re working on it.

You are this incredible being. You smile and laugh. You study things intently. You watch people’s faces and try to be part of the conversation. You recently got very interested in the cats…you follow them across the room with your eyes and you reach out to pet them when they come near you. Oh, and you sometimes reach your arms up toward me to get you out of the jumperoo or the high chair. I love seeing you reach for me.

Everyday your dad and I turn to each other and say how much we love you. It’s not always easy being a parent because you have to wake up when you don’t want to and you have to deal with dirty diapers and crying and whatnot, but the joy that comes from having you in our lives outweighs all of that by so much. So much

I love you,

mama

Five Month Old Letter

Dear Gabriel,

Today you are 5 months old! I can’t believe that you are already 5 months old! It seems like we just brought you home yesterday.

You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Even when your hair is a disaster, there is crusty snot on your nose, and you’re drooling like a faucet. Just beautiful.

This month has been a little bit hard on you (and your parents). You had a stomach virus for a couple of days, and then you caught a cold. The cold turned into RSV and an ear infection, so you have not been a very happy camper. There is so little I can do for you because you’re still just a little baby, so I felt very helpless to comfort you. I can tell when you don’t feel good because that sparkle in your eye is missing and you don’t give me your trademark grin. After starting some antibiotics for your ear, you are returning to the happy baby I am accustomed to.

We brought home a jumperoo from your cousin Will. You love to move around in there. It’s the same one you have at daycare, so it’s familiar and you have a lot of fun. You’re still not a huge fan of tummy time…which means you may never crawl. And while Elizabeth has seen you roll from back to tummy at her house, I have not been witness to this feat. We probably just need to put you on the floor more often and let you figure it out, but it’s so hard to not pick you up and love on you all the time.

We started trying out oatmeal when you turned 4 months old. You’re pretty good at taking the spoon into your mouth, and you seem to like experiencing new flavors pretty well…But you are like our very own Goldilocks about the temperature of your food.  You recently started taking cold bottles from the fridge, but you make an awful face when your solid food isn’t warm enough for you. You started being this particular with oatmeal, and now you do the same with sweet potatoes.

As I rocked you to sleep last night, I looked at your face and tried to understand how this little miracle can even exist. Being a mommy is amazing. Sometimes it’s amazingly tiring and frustrating, but it’s also amazingly rewarding. I can’t believe how much love I have for you. You take up all the room in my heart.

Love,

Your mommy

Four Month Old Letter

Dear Gabriel,

Today you are 4 months old. It is amazing to me that you’ve been here for such a short time and have already changed so much. Sometimes I look at you and you look like you’re a little boy instead of a baby.

You’re becoming a lot of fun to play with now. You smile and laugh at us when we interact with you. You laugh real laughs now that make your daddy and me feel so happy. You talk a lot now. We have whole conversations! Daddy and I realized that our days of relative quite are probably over now that you’ve found your voice.

I still have moments in which I am in complete disbelief that I grew you in my body and brought you into this world. Watching you change everyday is just the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced. Your chubby little hands reach for me sometimes and my heart just melts.

You supposedly rolled over from your back to your tummy while at daycare, but I haven’t seen you do it yet. You’re not a huge fan of tummy time, so I can’t imagine that you actually rolled over on purpose. But I know you’ll be mobile soon enough and no one will be able to stop you. You are a lot like your daddy in that you are always moving and wiggling unless you’re deep asleep.

You’re fascinated by the flashing lights on the tv. We probably shouldn’t encourage that… You also play piano on my iPad. It’s pretty cute. We read a number book the other day and you looked at the pictures as I pointed to them. We will start reading more now that you’re bigger and show interest.

I love that you still like to cuddle and be held, but that you sleep in your own bed at night. Right now you’re still a momma’s boy…you fuss when daddy is in charge. But you recognize daddy’s voice and face and you smile at him when he comes home from work and says hi. I’m sure the day will come when you prefer dad…until then, I don’t mind being the most important person in your little world.

I can’t wait to teach you things and play games and see you grow into who you are. You’re just amazing.

Love,

Mommy

Three Month Old Letter

Dear Gabriel,

You are now 3 months old. You are growing like a weed and already weigh 15 pounds. They say a baby should double his weight by 6 months old…you’re a bit of an over-achiever, I suppose.

I felt like our emotional relationship got off to a rocky start because of the breastfeeding issues we confronted, but now when I look at you…wow! My heart is full in a way I never imagined.

Sometimes I just stare at you in wonder. How did you get here? Did I really make you? Are you really a part of me? I just think you’re so beautiful. Your smile is amazing. The way your eyes light up when you recognize me is the most wonderful thing.

The other day you started making a sound that is oh-so-close to a laugh. I cannot wait to hear your full-blown laughter. Can’t wait.

You’ve been holding your head up pretty well since about 7 or 8 weeks old. You’re still not a fan of tummy time unless it takes place on my tummy. Your legs are getting strong, and you sometimes practice “standing” when we hold you in a standing position.

You’re now sleeping in your crib for most of the night. You fuss when you wake up, but if I come put your pacifier back in your mouth and pat your tummy a bit, you usually go back to sleep. Sometimes I pull you into bed with me for the last hour or so before we get up for work and daycare. Don’t tell anyone, but I kinda like to have you with me for just that little bit. When we both finally wake up, I like to see that first smile of the day.

You are a pretty happy baby. You generally only cry or fuss when you need something, and getting that something usually calms you. Sometimes the thing you need is to be held…all the time…which gets a little tiresome for your mom and dad…but we’ll take that over an inconsolable baby any day.

Being your mommy is really pretty wonderful.

I love you,

mommy

Two Month Old Letter

Dear Gabriel,

Today you are 2 months old. You have changed so much since that moment when the doctor placed you on my chest.

At 7 pounds 11 ounces, you were much smaller than I expected you to be…possibly because you came 9 days before your due date. I did not complain about your timing or your size because I was really ready for you to be born. And I really was worried about a large baby leading to c-section. Since that day, your chicken legs have developed into fat baby thighs, and your sweet little face now has the start of chubby cheeks.

You’re growing so fast. You eat a lot! We got off to a pretty rough start with breastfeeding because you were tongue-tied, and I didn’t know it. After we got that fixed when you were about 3 weeks old, things started to improve. And now, thank goodness, you nurse just fine.

I started trying to get you to sleep in your crib, but you’re not a very big fan of that idea. Sometimes you’ll sleep in there for an hour or so, but then you cry until I come get you. Mostly, you sleep in the bed with me right now. I don’t want this to last very long, but it’s the only way I’ve found so far that we can both get sleep. And now that you’ll sleep next to me instead of on my chest, it’s not so bad. Of course, your dad is sleeping on the couch, so we’re going to have to get you into your own bed sometime soon.

You make a lot of noises. You grunt and squeak a lot…so much that one of your nicknames is Grunty McSqueakers. In the past couple of weeks, you’ve started cooing as well. Sometimes we have little conversations wherein I speak English and you coo back at me. You’ve also begun to smile. I love when you smile at me, though I am as yet unsure whether it is purposeful smiling or just happenstance. It’s incredibly cute either way.

Having you in my life is amazing. It’s still a miracle that your daddy and I made you from scratch, that I carried you in my body while you grew, and that you’re here. I love you so much. I can’t wait to meet the person you grow up to be.

Love,

mommy