Yesterday Gabriel was doing something, and I changed it a bit. He sighed loudly and said, "Mom, don't wreck my day."
"Mom, will you come wipe my bottom? But don't look at my poop." <pause> "It was hard. And soft. It was hard and soft, mom." <I help with wiping> "Mom! Don't look at it!"
Me: Gabriel, it's time to get in your bed.
Gabriel: I need to do my iPad.
M: No, it's time to get in bed.
G: But God and Jesus told me to do my iPad. God AND Jesus.
K: <laughing pretty hard> I think God and Jesus want you to follow your mommy's instructions and get in your bed.
G: No, God and Jesus only talk to me.
Gabriel shows his dad a box of frozen waffles that we just brought home from the store.
Gabriel: Dad, do you see these? I bet you think they're for you.
Dad: Yum. I think those are for me.
G: <pffffft>
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