Bedtime Struggles

Bedtime has been getting harder and harder around here lately. 

G went through a phase a few months ago where he got up every night around 1:30 and came to our room. One of us (usually me) would get up to put him back to bed or he would climb in bed with us. On the occasions when he climbed in with us, we often didn't notice it for a couple hours...and then, even though we don't want to encourage his sleeping in our bed, we were too tired to get up and force him out. 

The 1:30 am phase seems to be under control, possibly because we started giving him an herbal sleep aid and rubbing magnesium lotion on his legs and feet. I'd like to stop that at some point, but there are still so many sleep things going on that I'm wary about changing that part of the routine since it did seem to help with the middle-of-the-night waking. 

Still, more often than we like, he wakes us up because he's gotten another nose bleed. We've got a humidifier and allergy meds and this and that, but it still happens somewhat frequently. His pediatrician says it's likely caused by digital irritation. We don't know for sure, but I haven't figured out how to keep a 5 year old's finger out of his nose while he sleeps anyway. 

A couple of nights he's woken up crying but not really responsive to our questions. He doesn't remember it in the morning, so we're assuming bad dreams/night terrors. Luckily that has only been two or three times. 

Now just getting him into bed is hard most nights. He doesn't want to be left alone, and I don't want to stay because I am very likely to fall asleep in there and I really need some time to be an adult who isn't acting as an employee or a mom for a while. But his protests remind me so much of my own childhood, lying in my bed in the dark and hating it so much. I remember the feeling with such clarity that if that's what he's feeling now, I feel terrible for forcing it on him. And yet, it is bedtime. And he must be in bed. He must sleep. 

He complains that it's too dark, so we have several night lights. But that wasn't good enough, so sometimes we leave a lamp on for a bit. Some nights that just seems to encourage him to stay awake. We try flashlights sometimes, but that works out to a lot of batteries after a while!!

 

For the past couple of weeks, I've been building nests for him in his bed using multiple pillows and every stuffed animal in the house. I was hoping he would feel comforted by having soft things cuddling him on all sides. Maybe that would work as an adequate substitution for being curled up against me...

But many nights he gets out of bed multiple times to say that he just can't sleep or to complain that he's lonely and needs someone to stay with him or to tell us one last important thing that must be said right then lest it be forgotten by morning. 

Like on a recent night when he climbed out of his bed, creeped into my room, and said, "Mommy, I don't have a lot of things to tell you. I just have one thing to tell you. The thing I need to tell you is that I like it when I get a nose bleed at night because I can get out of bed and come get you. And sometimes we sit in the bathroom or in my bed until it stops. And sometimes I get a long nose bleed and we lay down on the couch. So I like it when I get a long nose bleed at night."

Which makes me wonder if the kid is sticking his finger up his nose on purpose? Great.